Christmas Ain’t Christmas

A song by the O’Jays came out in the 80’s went something like this, “Christmas just ain’t Christmas without the one you love, New Year’s just ain’t New Years without the one you love.”  This Christmas, I’ve come to learn that this is more than true. Many may remember that nearly four months ago, I lost my grandmother (though it feels much longer than that.) Unfortunately, I think my Christmas spirit left with her.

Christmas doesn’t seem right without the things that should be here around during this time, right? Here’s how I’m growing and learning to deal with Christmas without a few things:

Loved Ones 

Though it feels completely odd and difficult, we have to push through this holiday season. I’m slowly learning that though my loved one may not be here physically, she’s definitely here in spirit, and her spirit is going to live on now and forevermore. It’s helps to remember and cherish the good times, and use different ways to remember them. For example, my family had a balloon release for my grandmother on her birthday (December 15th), and will be having another one on Christmas. This is healing for us, and brings a small ounce of joy through the pain.

Someone to Love

While some may be mourning because it’s their first Christmas without a loved one, or their 20th Christmas – I’ve seen others on social media upset because they don’t “have someone to kiss under the mistletoe.” If you continue to focus on how “alone” you are, you’ll never be happy. If you can’t achieve happiness by yourself, you’ll always be looking for others to fill that emptiness inside of you. Learn to love yourself first, and someone else will follow – when the time is right.

Something to Receive 

Some people are upset because they don’t get a lot of gifts for Christmas. Personally, I’ve begun to ask for less and less the older I’ve gotten. I remember when I was younger, I’d have multiple pages typed up, “Kyla’s Christmas List.” Now, I just want to have peace of mind, be surrounded by love and be able to give the same to others. Remember, your presence is a present, so continue to be a blessing to others.

The moral of the story is, cherish what you have and remember the reason for the season.

Happy Holidays!


“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift…that’s why it’s called the present.” –Bill Keane


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